Mid-November 2019 Newsletter

Hello, and a magnificent never-before Mid-November to you!
Welcome, or welcome back, to my newsletter. Today's issue is about losing your center, and getting it back. Enjoy!

A coach I've worked with for many years is often asking us to be aware of how we lose our center. Everyone knows how good it feels to be relaxed yet focused, able to pay attention fully to what is happening in the moment, then respond appropriately. And we all know how out of control we feel when we "lose it", getting upset or frustrated and snapping at others inappropriately, then later feeling badly about how we behaved.

Over time I've realized that what replenishes others can deplete me, and there's nothing wrong with me for needing more Alone Time (for example) than the average person. I can be extremely sociable for short periods, but if I'm surrounded by people for hours without a break I can feel my personal battery draining. I've also learned I do not do well in city environments, with the noise and crowds and hustle-bustle, which almost scares me. Give me some trees!

Shakespeare wrote "Know thyself". As adults, it is up to us to get what we need to feel safe and comfortable. No caring parent is going to ask (which I hope happened when we were kids) "Are you hungry?" or "Do you need a nap?". If I don't get what I need for an extended period of time, I'll eventually start to feel like an over-stimulated child on the brink of a meltdown. Do you know the signals indicating that you should take care of yourself, now?

The image above is how I feel when I'm overwhelmed by incoming stimuli, whether it be conversation or noise or simple requests, which can seem like demands and orders. I can feel like the environment is fiercely pushing me, and just like in the picture I'm about to get off-balance, losing my center. Ideally I'll realize right away that I'm triggered, starting to think I'm not good enough and about to go into an automatic reaction pattern. My breathing gets shallow and faster, my heartbeat speeds up, and I become nervous. Do you know your own triggers, your personal warning signs that you're about to lose your center?

Pressure doesn't have to mean stress -- the stress comes from how we react, and from our self-talk. This is why one person sees a huge challenge as an opportunity, and another sees the same challenge as a big problem and feels overwhelmed. Although my early training was to leap to meet any need which was presented, often at the expense of my own comfort or peace, I've learned the best first reaction to most input is to pause, breathe slowly and deeply, then assess the situation with a calm mind. What is actually happening here? Is it really a crisis? Remember, as an adult you have the power of choice in most cases, and can say no, which wasn't always possible when you were a child.

Last week I was sitting in the front row of a conference with my energy teacher, having taken off my shoes to feel more grounded with all the high-level vibrations coming in. She asked me up on stage to teach something, and though I didn't expect this, I was ready enough to rise to the occasion. I focused on the soles of my feet on the stage to help me feel steady, calming my breathing so I wouldn't talk too fast. Later I was grateful for the practice, both at speaking on stage, and at handling a potential trigger with relative ease. Notice how you're improving at staying in your own center, and how you're getting back there faster when you do slide away. Your center is the best of you, and it's the most rewarding, satisfying place to be.

To read about keeping your focus visually, which is called central fixation, click here.

Have you wondered if my work could help you?
I'm now offering complimentary Discovery Session consultations of 20 to 30 minutes, for us to discuss what you're looking for in a coach, and to see whether you and I feel like a fit. To schedule your Discovery Session, click here.

Do you want your own copy of future newsletters?
If a friend forwarded this to you, or you're reading it from Facebook or LinkedIn, this is a hit-or-miss method of receiving it, and you might not see it next time. If you'd like to be on my distribution list, you can join here. You can un-subscribe at any time. Thank you!

Please send me your questions and comments
Let me know what you've wondered about concerning energy medicine or vision or dreams. I'll be glad to write a short article addressing that topic. Thank you to those who have sent me questions, or see a question you asked me in a private session written about here. You're helping many other people! Enjoy the remainder of this special month of November. I'll write again in a few weeks. Take care!