Mid-November 2019 Newsletter
Hello, and a magnificent never-before Mid-November to you!
How do you lose your center?
Welcome, or welcome back, to my newsletter.
Today's issue is about losing your center, and getting it back.
A coach I've worked with for many years is often asking us to be aware of how we lose our center.
Everyone knows how good it feels to be relaxed yet focused, able to pay attention fully
to what is happening in the moment, then respond appropriately. And we all know how out of
control we feel when we "lose it", getting upset or frustrated and snapping at others
inappropriately, then later feeling badly about how we behaved.
Over time I've realized that what replenishes others can deplete me, and there's nothing wrong
with me for needing more Alone Time (for example) than the average person. I can be extremely sociable
for short periods, but if I'm surrounded by people for hours without a break I can feel my personal
battery draining. I've also learned I do not do well in city environments, with the noise and crowds
and hustle-bustle, which almost scares me. Give me some trees!
Shakespeare wrote "Know thyself". As adults, it is up to us to get what we need to feel safe and
comfortable. No caring parent is going to ask (which I hope happened when we were kids) "Are
you hungry?" or "Do you need a nap?". If I don't get what I need for an extended period of time,
I'll eventually start to feel like an over-stimulated child on the brink of a meltdown. Do you
know the signals indicating that you should take care of yourself, now?
The image above is how I feel when I'm overwhelmed by incoming stimuli, whether it be conversation
or noise or simple requests, which can seem like demands and orders. I can feel like the environment is
fiercely pushing me, and just like in the picture I'm about to get off-balance, losing my center.
Ideally I'll realize right away that I'm triggered, starting to think I'm not good enough and about to
go into an automatic reaction pattern. My breathing gets shallow and faster, my heartbeat
speeds up, and I become nervous. Do you know your own triggers, your personal warning signs
that you're about to lose your center?
Pressure doesn't have to mean stress -- the stress comes from how we react, and from our self-talk. This is why
one person sees a huge challenge as an opportunity, and another sees the same
challenge as a big problem and feels overwhelmed. Although my early training was to leap to
meet any need which was presented, often at the expense of my own comfort or peace, I've
learned the best first reaction to most input is to pause, breathe slowly and deeply, then
assess the situation with a calm mind. What is actually happening here? Is it really a crisis?
Remember, as an adult you have the power of choice in most cases, and can say no, which wasn't
always possible when you were a child.
Last week I was sitting in the front row of a conference
with my energy teacher, having taken off my shoes to feel more grounded with all the high-level
vibrations coming in. She asked me up on stage to teach something, and though I didn't
expect this, I was ready enough to rise to the occasion. I focused on the soles of my feet on the
stage to help me feel steady, calming my breathing so I wouldn't talk too fast.
Later I was grateful for the practice, both at speaking on stage, and at handling a potential
trigger with relative ease. Notice how you're improving at staying in your own center, and how
you're getting back there faster when you do slide away. Your center is the best of you, and it's
the most rewarding, satisfying place to be.
To read about keeping your focus visually, which is called central fixation,
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Let me know what you've wondered about concerning energy medicine
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that topic. Thank you to those who have sent me questions, or see
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You're helping many other people!
Enjoy the remainder of this special month of November.
I'll write again in a few weeks. Take care!